Last week, I spent a couple of days hanging out with my cousin Sophia.
This picture was taken on Mother Teresa's birthday.
She just turned fourteen. This is her first week of high school. I think she’s going to be okay.
Ever since teenagers were invented in the 1950’s by the milkshake industry, they’ve been on the verge of destroying themselves and society, right? Naked drug text message internet crimes, probably.
After a couple of days, one lunch with Mimi (our grandmother), a visit to the Mutter and New Harmony, and a crappy museum crawl with Blaise, I am confident that if the youth of today is anything like Sophia, we’re all going to be just fine.
My brother's facial hair has a mind of its own.
When I was her age, I was really into Tennessee Williams, Andy Warhol, and Bad Religion. Sophia’s interests include pineapple juice, unicorns, the TV show Psych, Pierce Brosnan as James Bond, and Tim Burton. It’s hard to be yourself when you’re only just figuring out who that is, but Sophia is doing an excellent job of it.
Ben Franklin and I had a novelty single in 1996.
In the past month, I’ve become a second cousin and the friend of people with kids. In the next few months, I’ll be an aunt and a first cousin (again). I’m still pretty terrified of babies (they’re like giant crying bags of diamonds – needy, precious, and something I feel I probably shouldn’t get my hands on), but I think I’m getting a little better with the young people. As long as those young people are interested in conjoined twins and the Soap Lady.
Photos from The National Liberty Museum, which we were all way to old for.
On 14 year old cousins:
Me: Joe, so how was the wedding?
Joe: I thought it was going to be more like the wedding in The Godfather! It wasn’t! I had to ask for champagne!
Me: Joe, last month I chose sleep over Al Pacino.
Joe: You should regret that for the rest of your life.
(That’s my boy!)
I never saw the Godfather.